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Which is more Important Appearance or Personality – Personality
Which is more important: Appearance or personality?
There is an old English adage about not judging a book by its cover. It is certainly true in its literal sense, however it also applies metaphorically. As human beings, we have a tendency to get suckered in by pretty packaging and this extends to almost everything in life.
The simple book example aside, we will go and see a movie because of a slick trailer or a DVD with an eye-catching cover. We buy goods with fancy labels over plainly packaged generics even though they are often made by the same companies and have identical ingredients. We will buy a car that looks good (and by extension, makes us look good) over one that is efficient and safe. We will even go so far as to disregard people because they are dowdy. Susan Boyle may not have the looks of Beyoncé or Christina Aguilera but she has the voice of an angel.
Our first reaction, our instinctive reaction is one of choosing appearance over personality. When it comes to relationships, that initial physical attraction is the impetus for wanting to know the other person better. It is only later that the secondary considerations kick in and we start to think about things like compatible interests, character, emotional connection, intellectual stimulation and shared values. If we are lucky, we strike the complete package. Our partner has the looks and personality and we can check all the boxes. More often than not, some of those boxes cannot be checked and we have a disconnect. Compromises need to be made and we need to make a decision about the importance of various qualities.
Our human tendency to be suckered in by the superficial is a major contributing factor to the growing rate of divorce. The disconnect between appearance and personality means that the initial appearance-fuelled attraction eventually begins to wane. There can be many reasons for this. It could be any one of a combination of age, hair style, lifestyle or boredom or that we begin to see through the veneer that we’ve created for ourselves. Such is the power of appearances that we even delude ourselves into overlooking the negative aspects of our partner’s personality. We will cling to the aura of appearances to our own detriment.
Does this mean that every relationship based solely on appearances is doomed to failure? No, but it does mean that those compromises lacks the balance and is going to be a relationship that entails a lot of work to keep it together. By focusing on appearances, it overlooks the fact that appearance is but a small aspect of the total person.


دسته بندی: مکالمه آزاد | تاريخ انتشار : 1395/02/07 15:29 | بازدید : 494

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